I have three children… three beautiful, active, energetic, active, smart, sweet, brilliant, and very active children. At 5 years old, 3 years old, and almost 1 year old, they are our constant joy, and they are, how shall I say… yep, active! Every so often, though, I get a few moments to sit and reflect about these precious little people God has given me (by every so often, I mean the rare times that they are all three sleeping at the same time… such as right now… at 1:00 a.m… This is my quiet time).

So you know, I was thinking… It’s fascinating how different their stages of development are at this age. In the same day, we could be celebrating the 5-year-old’s progress on her piano lessons, the 3-year-old’s progress on writing his name or recognizing all the letters of the alphabet, and the 11-month-old’s progress on eating a new food or drinking out of a cup. They are all at such different levels and are learning very different things, yet the key word is that they are all making progress.

Think with me for a moment… Imagine how ludicrous it would be if I held my 11-month-old to the same standards of development as the 5-year-old. What if I said, “Why can’t you read like your sister?” What if I scolded my 3-year-old for not being able to tie his own shoes yet? What if I got annoyed at the 5-year-old for not being able to reach the pedals in the car and drive us to the store? Of course, that would be insane! As their mother (and as a human being with common sense), I realize they are each at a different point in their growth paths, so I can’t compare them to one another. Instead, what I’ve learned to do (thanks to some pointers from our pediatrician) is to watch each of their growth tracks individually, and while I may reference what is considered “normal” progress for a child their age, I keep a closer eye on the progress of each child on his/her own development curve.

For most of us, it is probably pretty easy to understand why we don’t hold children to the same growth standards as one another…

So why is it so hard for us to understand that our Father is just as patient and loving toward us?

 

How often do we get caught up comparing ourselves to everyone around us and worrying about why we aren’t further along in our spiritual journey like they are? We look at pastors and spiritual leaders and even peers in our own churches, and using some sort of self-fabricated, invisible measuring stick, we think we’re spiritually behind everyone else. But God never called us to compare ourselves to everyone else. The question isn’t whether or not we are on the same level as everyone else around us; the question is whether or not we are making progress on our own growth track with the Lord.

If we’re standing still in our walk with God, then we need to take a look at this relationship we have with Him and find out what needs to happen to get us moving again. If I haven’t grown any in the last year, then I need to identify the issue and get going. What has caused me to stalemate? Unforgiveness? Willful sin in my life? A relationship that I hold higher than my relationship with God? Hurt from a major disappointment or traumatic event in my life?

What is standing in the way of my spiritual progress in my relationship with my Father?

Maybe nothing is. Maybe you are growing, but you just don’t feel like you’re as far along as you should be. If that’s the case, then I encourage you to stop comparing yourself to other people, and start looking at your own growth track. Pull out a journal or a piece of paper, and ask yourself some questions.

What have you conquered during the past year, spiritually speaking? Do you find it easier to pray than you used to? Do you get more out of reading the Bible than before? Have you found greater freedom in worship, either at home or when you come to church? Have you overcome an addiction or bothersome habit that was holding you back? Have you been able to rein in that temper that used to fly so easily? Have you been able to reach out and minister to someone else at work or school?

Things like this (and other things you may identify) are all benchmarks of personal growth. These are things you can use to see progress along the way. (If you can’t identify any growth, then like I said, evaluate what is holding you back, and then write down some goals that you do want to reach over the next few months in your walk with God).

When it comes to your spiritual journey, you can’t just say, “I’m the same age as my pastor’s wife, so I should be at the same place that she is spiritually.” And you can’t just say, “I’ve been saved for 10 years; I should be at the same place as that person.”

Much like children, our spiritual journeys are unique and intricate on many different levels. You don’t know the price someone else has paid for the spiritual maturity you recognize in them. You don’t know the struggles they have been through, and they don’t know yours. My sons have both fought through some issues physically as babies that my daughter didn’t face when she was that young. So would it be fair for me to get frustrated at them when I realize that around that same age, while my daughter had already learned to start talking and walking, my sons hadn’t done so as early as she had? Of course not! It’s neither logical nor fair to hold them all to the same expectations, because even though they are growing up in the same close-knit family as one another, their journeys have already been different.

You don’t know what other people have gone through, and you can’t assume that your journey will follow someone else’s development track. At the same time that someone else may have hit a growth spurt with God and seemed to leap forward in their destiny and calling, you may have gone through a major life event that knocked the wind out of you. The circumstances don’t dictate the end result, though. Maybe you hit some unexpected delays along the way, but the strength that has been built in you through your relationship with God is probably much greater than you can see on the surface!

The beautiful thing about God is that, as our loving Father, He considers where we are and where we have come from, but most of all, He knows where we are going!

 

It is a wonderful thing when the children of God can live together – much like my three children. We can coexist in the same faith, in the same Church, and we can share much of our journey with one another. In fact, we need each other for the journey! But the beauty comes when we don’t get stuck in the rut of comparing ourselves to one another, but we all flourish by both the individual and the family progress we make together!

You know, the interesting thing about children is that while right now, a two-year age gap is a huge deal in their development, it won’t be all that many years from now until all three of my kids will look and act close to the same age as one another. When they’re 3, 5, and 7, they’ll all be walking with no problem. When they’re 16, 18, and 20, they’ll all be able to drive (prayerfully with no problem)! The gap will continue closing the further into the journey they get. When they’re 30, 32, and 34, who’s going to be thinking about which one is oldest or youngest or more mature or not?

The moral of the story is this…

Look at where you are and accept it, realizing that it is not your final destination. Today is just a step in the right direction toward where you eventually see yourself!

 

Accept where you are today on the way to where you are going.

 

Remember, the question isn’t whether or not you’re growing at the same rate as someone else; the question is whether or not you’re growing?

And the main thing isn’t whether or not you’re moving faster or slower than you wish you were; the main thing is… Are you moving?

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it. Philippians 3:13-16 (MSG)