We began talking about this subject in a previous post (you can catch up here), & we discovered that the first tool God gives us in understanding His destiny for our lives is the collection of promises He has made to us. Today, let’s look at the second tool He gives us…
Tool 2: Dreams.
This may be difficult for some of us to swallow: In order to live in the fullness of abundant life, our vision has to reach beyond the sole dream for a lifelong partner. As badly and as long as you may have desired your mate (which isn’t inherently wrong, of course), if finding your mate is your only dream, the only motivation and inspiration of your heart, then you are living and dreaming far below God’s potential for your life. I promise you this: You will miss out on some of the greatest blessings God has for you, both now and later.
I know what it’s like to feel like my entire destiny was on hold until the dream of finding my spouse was fulfilled. Even as a single, accomplished, and capable 25-year-old woman, I hesitated to launch any long-term dreams for fear that they wouldn’t match up with my husband’s whenever he came into the picture. I felt like I could only let myself dream to a certain extent, because so much was contingent on whoever he would be and whatever direction he would be going. I really held myself back from “letting go and letting God,” as they say.
Have you ever seen a woman whose potential you knew was being completely held back because of the man she was with? We’ve all seen those codependent relationships, the ones where we want to grab the person we love, shake them by the shoulders, and say, “Can’t you see you deserve better?!” For whatever reason, it’s as if she is controlled by the relationship and can’t see beyond it.
Well, dear friend, when we confine our hearts to dreaming only of having a mate and nothing beyond that, we are allowing ourselves to fall victim to the same controlling spirit that wants to cripple our potential and destinies. So consider this post my taking you by the shoulders, shaking you, and saying, “Can’t you see your limited vision is holding you back? Can’t you see you deserve better?!”
You are so much more than a “better half” to someone. In fact, I hate that term, “better half.” Do you know why? Because it implies that marriage is made up of two incomplete individuals. I believe that a healthy marriage is made up of two already-complete people, two people who know who they are in God. Sure, you will continue growing together. Of course, you will find ways to complete one another. Neither of you will be completely perfect, but you should both have a solid foundation as individuals, knowing who you are in God and having at least some sense of where God is taking you (the dreams and visions God has for your future).
Here are three very dangerous ways you are inhibiting your own destiny by dreaming only of your future relationship and nothing beyond that:
1. You are giving yourself tunnel vision. You’ll become self-centered, because you have only this one goal in life. You cannot see the needs of others around you – at least not in the capacity that you should. You see the world only through the tainted lens of, “I’m single, and I’ve got to get un-single as soon as possible.”
2. You are setting yourself up for compromise. If your main focus is to be un-alone, you will begin forfeiting the dreams God wants for you in order to have a “right-now” companion. God actually has ideas and desires and dreams to give you about your future, but if you’re so busy looking and searching on your own, you won’t find time to cultivate those dreams. Instead of waiting for God’s Best for you, you will waste your time trying to make any guy become the guy. Remember, most men won’t meet the criteria of God’s Best for you. So please, for your sake and theirs, stop trying to make them. Be willing to take a pass and wait for God to bring one to you who fits His dreams for you perfectly!
3. You are setting yourself up for being unfulfilled. Ok, so let’s say you meet Mr. God’s-Best-for-You today. Before you know it, you are Mrs. God’s-Best, happily married to this wonderful gift from God. Ok, so now what? Oh wait. You didn’t dream anything beyond finding this man sitting on the couch next to you, so now that you’ve reached this point of the journey, you have absolutely no vision beyond this moment. The problem with fairy tales is that they spend all their time leading up to Happily Ever After. No one ever talks about what Happily Ever After looks like. Unfortunately, many of us dream for our futures in the same way. So you have no idea what is supposed to come next, because you never took time to think about it. Your tunnel vision was only focused on being un-single. Now that you are, you become dangerously restless and confused by this feeling of being unfulfilled.
We must dream beyond what we can see right now. We must allow the Holy Spirit to breathe into our imaginations and our desires and give us dreams for the future, in spite of all the major unknowns staring us in the face. We have to realize that He is the Master Planner, and we cannot out-dream Him or mess up His plans for our lives by dreaming bigger than we have so far. Keep dreaming. Keep dreaming. Keep dreaming.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Click here for Tool 3 in Promises & Purpose, Dreams & Destiny.
